Finding A New Rhythm

The past couple of months I have been feeling like I haven't been as good of a mom as I should be, or could be anyways. I haven't been reading as many stories to the kids, Finn has been spending more time playing computer games or watching movies than normal, and I just seem to be less-present than I should. For some reason, I seem to have gotten bogged down with stuff... grading assignments and preparing for class each week, laundry, trying to keep the house clean, blogging, all of those things that I spend my time doing that take away from my time with the kids. I feel like so many days I get up, get everyone fed, walk the dogs, do the breakfast dishes, make a snack, clean up, and then it is almost time to make lunch already. I watch the hours fly by and I try to 'maintain' and Finn and Phoebe entertain themselves with brief mama-interjections of what can and can not happen.
I decided that, somehow, I wanted to be more present in my children's day. Not just by being there, in the same room, but by really BEING there. Interacting with them. Playing with them. Loving them. Not every moment of every day (mom and kids both need breaks from one another, mind you!), but a lot more than I am giving them. Does this mean I am never going to wash another dish or fold laundry during my children's waking hours? Definitely not. But I have decided that it is time to find a new rhythm.
Todd and I talked and decided that we were both going to spend more time contributing to house clean up after the kids were in bed each night. Things that I normally tried to do during the day, like sweeping and cleaning the counters will be left for after dinner (unless I can involve the kids, or happen to find a moment when they are both happily occupied). My work (grading and prepping for class) is going to be mainly left for after the kids are asleep as well. And, blogging, my time-sucking little friend is also going to wait until night time.
What does this all mean? Well, the house has to get clean (sort-of at least), and my work needs to get done, which means that I am going to have less time for everything else in my life. Less time to blog (so posts may be shorter or less frequent for a few weeks until I find my groove), less time to read, knit, and less time for watching movies. Plus, now I have to stay motivated after the kids go down instead of getting my relaxation vibe on. The good side is that cleaning that would take 2 hours to get done by just me while dealing with the kids takes only 20 minutes for Todd and I to do together, without kids.
And, the trade off for this is that I have more quality time with my kids. They are only going to be little once. When I realized that I only have 18 months left with Finn before he is in school 5 days a week, I couldn't believe it. His little boy years are quickly coming to a close, and I want to absorb as much of that time as I can before it is gone.
So, I guess I am in this period of trying to find a new rhythm. To prioritize my needs and my wants in order to be able to be the mama who I really want to be. To cut back my "to-do" list and spend more time focused on my kids "to-do" list. To incorporate my children more into the chores of my day so that it is not a choice between mama and maid or mama and chef, but both simultaneously. I realize that for this to work, I am giving up a little bit of my "me" time (but still making sure I have enough to keep me sane!) in order to give my kids a lot more "us" time. It sounds wonderful doesn't it? I only hope that we can find a way to make it work. Pin It Now!