Phoebe's Birth Story

Adjusting to life as a family of 4 is going well... tiring, but that is to be expected. Finn is doing a great job of being a patient big brother, and Todd has become super-dad, somehow balancing working full time with managing to spend time with both kids each day. Luckily my mom was in town for over a week doing most of the cooking and cleaning, and a lot of everything else. Not sure what we would have done without her here, and it makes me sad that all of our family lives so far away.
Phoebe's arrival was much anticipated... Finn was born 3 weeks early, and so we were all expecting her to be early as well. A month before her due date my home birth kit was ready and in my mind I was going to have a baby any day. So as the days and weeks passed, and she still hadn't come, I was anxious to meet her and anxious to not be pregnant anymore. She ended up coming 2 days after she was due; I never in a million years would have guessed that she would have been late.... especially since about 5 weeks before her due date I started having a LOT of Braxton Hicks contractions... nights where they would be 5 minutes apart, and I was so afraid that she was going to come way too early. So I went from hoping that she would stay in long enough to wishing that she would just come on out. What a tangled mess of emotions! Looking back, I am so glad that she stayed in so that she could be strong and healthy, but I sure was impatient for her to get here.
Phoebe's birth story really starts on Friday February 25th. My midwife came by for a home visit on Friday afternoon. I asked her to check my cervix just to see if maybe I was dilated at all, and I was 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced. This made me really excited, and I guessed that she would be here by the end of the weekend. That night I started having mild contractions that were 4-5 minutes apart. We gave the midwives a warning and Todd and I were ready to welcome our little girl into the world. By 10 pm, the contractions were still mild and hadn't gotten any closer together so I decided to lay down and get some rest. Soon after, the contractions subsided, I fell asleep, and woke up on Saturday feeling sort of let down. All weekend I had contractions, still mild, about 5 minutes apart. They would start and stop, but never got any stronger or closer. I felt like I was destined to be in early labor for the rest of my life. On Sunday night my back had started to hurt pretty bad and I was getting pretty uncomfortable. I have a back injury that tends to pop up occasionally, but mixed with pregnancy, the pain was pretty unbearable.
Monday morning the contractions were a bit stronger, but not coming regularly anymore. I was doing my best to just not think about it. My mom was scheduled to fly in Wednesday morning, and I hoped she would be born by then, but was honestly starting to doubt it. By Monday afternoon, my back hurt so bad that I couldn't walk and couldn't even get comfortable laying down. I ended up having to put in a movie for Finn and just did my best to rest until Todd got home from work. That night I ended up calling the midwife to see what I could do for pain relief. We were pretty sure Phoebe was pushing into my sacrum, causing my back pain to flare up. She told me to do my best to rest up that night, and we had discussed maybe stripping my membranes the next day to help get labor started. We were hesitant to start labor with a hurt back, yet we were pretty sure that her head pushing into my spine was a big part of that back pain. I even confessed to Todd that if we couldn't get labor started naturally that I may resort to heading to a hospital and getting induced. I was in that much pain.
Tuesday morning I woke up around 7:30 and was having mild contractions about 4 minutes apart. Soon they were only 2 minutes apart. We called the midwife, not knowing if this was it or just another tease. She said she would stop by around 9:30 to check in on me.
By the time she arrived, the contractions were about 5 minutes apart, but stronger than before. She checked my cervix and I was dilated to 7 cm. She decided to stay and unpacked her things.  In the meantime, we got Finn ready and sent him to his friend's house. He was being great with my early contractions, but I knew that once things got more painful, he would probably be upset to see me like that.
I never would have imagined that I would go into labor first thing in the morning, and had expected a night time birth like Finn's. My husband was ecstatic, as he is not very good at staying awake at night. He kept commenting on how perfect this was-- he could drink his coffee while I was laboring away. All I could say was that I was glad the timing worked out for him!
The contractions continued to get stronger, but unlike my labor with Finn, they were not getting consistently closer together. When they were pretty dang intense, I would get 2 right in a row, but then have a 3 minute break. In my mind I wasn't sure if I was almost done, or if things were going to continue on for hours longer.... and that unknown was probably the worst part. But, apparently, that was my transition. Which is awesome...... with Finn, I remember turning into a wild animal during transition, throwing off my clothes and letting my eyes roll back into my head. In all honestly, when I had been thinking about giving birth again, I just really didn't want to go through transition and have that feeling of losing all control over my mind and body. And.. I didn't. During the worst of it I was still all there mentally, and although I was swearing a bit, I was aware that I was doing it and I didn't feel like a werewolf on a full moon. Phew.
The weirdest part was that this whole entire time, the little bean was still flailing around like crazy. I could feel her squirming and kicking during my contractions, which I think maybe helped me stay more grounded into the moment. During Finn's birth he didn't move a bit (or at least I didn't notice), so this was a completely new experience.
The other 2 midwives quietly slipped into the house. I felt the urge to push, I felt my water break and watched it gush onto the bed. With Finn, I had given birth in a tub, and so I never knew when my water broke. The next round of contractions I pushed, and she started to crown, but slipped back in. Since I pushed for almost 3 hours with Finn, I was determined that she was getting pushed out quick. So the next big round of contractions brought her head, and her shoulders came a minute later. Pushing all together only took about 10 minutes.
She was born at 11:41 am. So my labor that day was only about 4 hours, with only 2 of the hours being pretty intense. But, most midwives and doctors say that labor begins once you are dilated to 3 or 4 cm.... in that case, I was in labor for about 5 days!
She came out and immediately pinked up and started crying. My cord was short (I had the same problem with Finn) and so I actually was not able to hold her until the cord stopped beating and was cut. She had very little vernex since she was fully cooked (whereas Finn has come out looking like he was covered in cream cheese) and was perfect. At 7 pounds 4 ounces she was bigger than I had expected (the asthma medication I was on makes babies have lower birth weights) and was healthy! She latched on right away and I fell in love. I didn't need any stitches, didn't hemorrhage (as I did with Finn), and felt pretty good. A birth success!
Having a home birth was great. Not having to pack up to  go anywhere, having everything I needed, being in familiar surroundings and not having to go anywhere afterwords just made the birth that much better. Now I couldn't imagine wanting to do it any other way.
Now I am just enjoying these early days with my wee one. With your first child, there is so much to learn... when Finn was a newborn I felt overwhelmed and unsure of myself.  I often times found myself wishing time away... waiting for the days when he would be done with his colic, when he would sleep through the night, when he would ween himself. This time around I am actually taking the time to enjoy these days, knowing that they are so fleeting. When I am up nursing at 3:30 am, I remind myself that before I know it, her newborn days will be only a memory, so I am trying to take her in through all of my senses and simply live in this moment.

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Preparing for a Homebirth

Baby #2 is due on March 1st and we decided about a month ago that we are going to birth her at home. We had Finn at a stand-alone birth center (Alma Midwifery) and didn't think twice about going back there for this birth. However, in the time since we had Finn my health insurance has changed and, for some reason, having a birth at the birth center is quite a bit more expensive. If we chose the birth center route, we would end up paying about $1,500 more than if we chose to have the baby at home. We would still have the same midwives and the same equipment. The only thing a home birth would be lacking is the lovely birthing tub (in which Finn was born by the way). But, my labor with Finn happened super quickly, and the midwives cautioned that  I may not even have a chance to use the tub (or may not even make it to the birth center!) if things happened any faster than last time. So, $1,500 to maybe use a birthing tub just didn't fit into our budget.
So, to save money and make things easier on ourselves, we decided that having this baby at home was the right option. A lot of our family thinks that we are crazy, but we are still less than 2 miles from a hospital if we do run into an emergency. And knowing that I will be in a familiar place with my things and my animals (well, maybe the animals will be a disadvantage... I know the hair will!), and knowing that I don't have to leave once I start laboring, are all very nice and comforting thoughts. I have complete trust in my midwives and my ability to get this baby out when the time comes. I know that there is a chance that we will have a complication and end up at the hospital, but I am REALLY hoping that doesn't happen.....
So, the past few weeks I have been compiling my home birth kit to prepare for the birth. Finn came 3 weeks early, so I figured that I had better be prepared.... and honestly, knowing that I have everything I need for the birth already has made the anticipation of going into labor a little bit less stressful. Pin It Now!

Sitz Bath

 A sitz bath can be very healing after birth. It helps to reduce swelling and heal tears. Last week I made a homemade herbal sitz bath that I will use after I give birth. Here is the recipe:

1/2 oz. chickweed
1/2 oz. marshmallow root
1/2 oz. chamomille
1/2 oz. calendula
1 oz. lavender
1 oz. rosemary
1 oz. uva-ursi
1 oz. sea salt

Using 3 oz (half of this recipe) of herbs, steep them in boiling water for 30 minutes. Fill your bathtub with just enough water to cover your bottom. Strain the herbs from the tea and add the tea to your bath water. Sit for 15-20 minutes and enjoy some quiet healing time.
I haven't used this recipe yet, but I will keep you all posted on how it turned out!!

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Almost a Big Brother

It's not too long before my little guy is going to be a big brother! We have been spending a lot of time talking with Finn about having a baby, being a big brother and what things are going to be like once his little sister arrives.
A few days after we explained to Finn that there was a baby in my belly, he confidently named her Grasser and has called her that ever since. Sadly, we don't have a name picked out yet, so we have also been calling her Grasser for the past 6-plus months. Hopefully Finn is not too hurt when we don't actually chose that as her name.
Anyways, he talks all of he time about how he is going to hold Grasser, teach her things, share his toys.... but I wonder how much of this he really understands and how prepared he really is. His best friend became a big sister last summer, and I think spending time around a newborn and watching his friend make that transition has been helpful. However,  I know we will be in for some big emotions once that baby actually gets here.
Our midwives let us borrow a sibling backpack, complete with books and films on birth and being a big sibling, and a nursing doll. We watched the film on babies being born last week and Finn's response to that was "That lady's bottom looks funny. I am going to hide when Grasser comes.". So, yeah.., that didn't reassure me in his preparedness, but it did make my decision for me that Finn probably shouldn't be at the birth (at least not without someone that can leave with him if need be). I also don't blame him, as after watching the film, I got nervous to give birth again. It wasn't so bad giving birth to Finn, but watching it brings back some of those memories that I think I tried to repress.
Anyways, we will continue to read books and talk about being a big brother and hope for the best. But if anyone has any tips that made the big sibling transition easier for them, I am all ears! Pin It Now!

Natural Childbirth

Natural childbirth is an AMAZING experience. I always knew that when I had children I would want to have them without any drugs and with limited medical intervention (mostly because I am deadly afraid of IVs), and I feel extremely blessed and lucky that my birth (and my midwives) provided what I had hoped for. Many mothers that I know who had intended to give birth naturally were unable to for a wide array of reasons. For some women, this sort of experience is non-essential. But, for others, not having the birth they dreamed of can take a long, long while to get over.
Natural childbirth has many advantages for both mother and baby. For one, if birth happens naturally, the baby is not flooded with chemicals before entering the world. The placenta does block a portion of the chemicals from reaching the baby, but about 70% actually make it to the fetus (aka soon to be your kid!). These drugs can slow the baby's heartbeat and affect the respiratory system and remnants of these drugs remain in the baby's system for weeks, potentially causing sluggishness in the weeks after birth. The long term effects of these drugs on the baby is still an unknown.
As for the mother, we can all imagine that epidurals, c-sections and other medical interventions carry some sort of a small risk. The biggest problem with these interventions is that one intervention oftentimes leads to a whole host of further interventions with the end result being a c-section, the furthest things from a natural birth that there is. For example, pitocin, which is used to stimulate labor/increase contractions make the contractions worse and often causes the women to need an epidural. The epidural slows labor back down, and requires more pitocin to be put into the bloodstream. The cycle usually continues on and on until the doctors decide enough is enough and the birthing mama gets sent in for a section. Ugg. These drugs can all have a slew of potentially negative side effects to the mother (from headaches and backaches to huge drops in blood pressure, respiratory problems and even death). The more drugs and different drugs that are used, the more potential for a negative reaction!
Lastly, that first interaction between mama and baby can be seriously altered when labor drugs are involved. Mama and baby can both be drowsy and out of it (or still under medical supervision and not even near one another) making that initial bonding, as well as breastfeeding, harder to establish.
How to avoid all of this? If you are a low-risk pregnancy, consider having a birth at home or at a freestanding birth center (where no doctors are involved). I had my birth at Alma Midwifery, in Portland, and had a magnificent experience. It was a free standing birth center, with patient midwives, and no available pain medication. So, if I changed my mind and wanted drugs.. too bad! Risky you say? I would have to disagree. My midwives were wonderful and we had a backup plan for a hospital trip if ANYTHING did not go as planned. Birthing was painful, but not nearly as bad as I had imagined it to be, and I never even thought about wanting drugs. I loved being present and involved in my birth and it was THE most empowering thing that I have ever done. The picture shown above is in the room where my son was born less than an hour after his birth.
Natural childbirth is not for everyone, I understand, and I would never, ever look down upon any women who chose drugs because I know that everyone experiences pain differently. Every women should be congratualted for her birth no matter how the baby arrives. But, for those of you who would consider having a drug-free birth, I encourage you to look into that option. You are a woman and you are strong. Your baby will thank you!
If you haven't already seen Ricki Lakes' 2007 film The Business of Being Born, it is a MUST see. Ricki talks about some of the misconceptions of homebirths, tells her story of a homebirth and follows a mother along her birthing journey. Empowering, powerful and amazing. Every women should HAVE to see this before choosing where to birth.
Also, the September-October issue of Mothering magazine has some great articles on natural childbirth.
Birth-on ladies! Pin It Now!