Bye Bye Bobo

Phoebe was an addict. A pacifier addict that is. She called hers Bobo and loved it more than anything in the world. It was a must for nap time, bed time, and anytime she felt shy or nervous. In fact, she would wake us up several times a night because Bobo would fall out of her mouth and she couldn't find it in the dark, and we would need to come and bring her another one. It was pretty ridiculous. No one ever got a night of interrupted sleep and if you were out in public and had forgotten to bring a Bobo, a serious fit would often follow. Plus, her teeth are starting to get pushed out and she is getting a bit of an overbite. It may be natural, but maybe it was from all of that pacifier time.We decided. It was time to say bye bye to Bobo.
Finn was never really attached to a pacifier, or a certain blanket or lovey. He was attached to me. First to my boobs, and then, when he weaned, to my body. In fact, when he was 2, he would lie in bed and yell "i want mommy's arm! i want mommy's mole". He liked to rub a mole on my arm while he fell asleep. It was cute, don't get me wrong, and I actually look back and really treasure those moments. But, it also meant that I couldn't ever leave the house before bedtime because he needed me, my actual body, to fall asleep. I couldn't have a night away, an evening out, without knowing that Todd's was struggling to get him down. I felt guilty and it was a bit limiting. So, when Phoebe was born, we decided it should be different. We gave her pacifiers, lovies, blankets, hoping that she would find something to help soothe her. Well, she did. All 3. And now she needs a certain lovey, a certain blankie, and until last week, a pacifier, just to fall asleep. I think our plan backfired!
Anyways, last Thursday night I collected all of the pacifiers from around the house, put them into a bowl, and told them that the Bobo fairy would be coming to take the pacifiers and give them to a little baby that needed them. Why make up a story about a fake bobo fairy? To take the blame off of me. That's right. I knew this was going to be rough on her, and if it was all MY fault, well, she may just never forgive me. Now she can hate the Bobo fairy all she wants, but she will still love her mama.
That first night she asked for Bobo, she cried a little, but was asleep in 20 minutes. That wasn't so bad, I thought. If that was it, why hadn't we done this sooner? Well, then 11:00 came. And 4:00. Each time she screamed (and I mean screamed) for about 30- 45 minutes. Screaming for Bobo, punching and kicking me because she was so upset, and banging her head against the wall. It was intense. I have never helped anyone go through withdrawal from a hard drug, but I imagine that it would have gone something like that first night with Phoebe. It was rough, and by the morning, I was exhausted.
Friday and Saturday night also had rough patches, but there was a big improvement over that first night. And by Sunday? Phoebe was sleeping all the way through the night. No waking up for Bobo, no screaming, nothing. Really? 3 nights? That's all? She still asks for her Bobo at bedtime each night, and usually a few times during the day, but we tell her Bobos are all gone. She says "Bobo all gone" and then moves on.
Sometimes I feel like a mean mama. My heart really did sink when I had to tell her no to Bobo, her prized possession. How could I ever say no to that sweet face? But now that we are all sleeping better, I think we did make the right decision.
So, there you have it. Farewell to Bobo! Thanks for helping Phoebe for such a long time, but please, don't come back!