I do understand this reasoning and I do realize that every family's situation is different. But, man... especially during the early weeks with a new baby, I couldn't imagine NOT sharing my bed. I love that I can roll over to nurse in the middle of the night, and that neither one of us fully wakes from sleep during this time. I love that if I wake up in a panic I can reach my hand over and feel her chest rise and fall with each breath. I give props to all of the nursing mamas out there who can actually pull their butt out of bed, get their baby out of the crib, and nurse them back to sleep before they can go lay down in their own bed. That takes some serious dedication and middle of the night motivation, neither of which I have.
I think more families co-sleep than will admit it, even if it is only for the first weeks or months after the baby comes. And many families choose to sleep using a co-sleeper attached to the bed so that baby has its own space, but is still a part of the family bed. It is seriously convenient, especially for mamas who nurse, and honestly, I am so paranoid those first few weeks when they are so tiny and fragile, that I couldn't imagine putting a new baby to sleep all the way across the house.
However, co-sleeping doesn't work for every family. First off, you need a bed big enough for 3... we are lucky to have a king size bed. You also need to feel confident that you are not such a sound sleeper that you will roll over and smother your child while you are sleeping. I have always slept soundly while co-sleeping, but yet seem to have a continual awareness of where I am in relation to the baby. And I never really change positions at all while I am co-sleeping. Co-sleeping would not be a good idea if you take sleeping pills or consume large quantities of alcohol, because you could actually smother your baby! Todd was pretty nervous about this when we first started co-sleeping with Finn, but I kept the baby closer to my side and we never had any issues. The only other sort of annoying thing is the blanket issue. You need to make sure your covers don't go over the baby face and suffocate them. Which for us means that Todd and I each use our own blanket, and I have to be careful that my blanket is kept well below the level of Phoebe's head. I do miss our big ol' king size comforter that I could just cozy down under, but I am willing to sacrifice that for the added convenience of the family bed.
Finn slept in our bed for a long time. By the time we were motivated to put him to bed in his own room he was waking us up all night by smacking us in the face and kicking us (he is a wild man in his sleep). But by that time, Finn was really accustomed to sleeping with us, and it took a very, very, very long time to get him to fall asleep on his own in his own bed. Much too long.
So although we are going to co-sleep again with Phoebe, we are going to work on transitioning her out of our bed before she is taking over it. Which is going to be a challenge as we don't really have anywhere to transition her too. Our bedroom is too small for a crib, and Finn's room (our only other bedroom or possible space for a crib since we live in an 800 square foot house, would need a serious make-over before we could fit a crib in there). Our current plan is to keep her in our bed until we are ready, and then transition her to sleeping in a co-sleeper attached to our bed (which is currently used for nap times and a storage area for night time baby needs!). Then, at some point, things will need to get rearranged in Finn's room and Phoebe will share his space. But, until then, I am going to enjoy these nights of snuggling with my new baby, lazy nursing in the middle of the night, and hearing her tiny breath go in and out and she sleeps.
Do you co-sleep? When did you move your child to their own bed? Any tips or tactics for a mama hoping to make an easier transition the second time around?
We started co-sleeping with Sophie at about 4 months when she outgrew her bassinet. We tried getting her to sleep in a crib but she would scream and cry and never let up. We got her her own bed when she was 4, she would start there and end up in bed with us every night.She finally left our bed at 6 and then Solomon was born and moved in. Then we had Solomon in bed with us from newborn until 3.His bed is right next to ours and he loves it. I finally slept through the night for the first time when he moved out!
ReplyDeleteCo-sleeping is the way to go for nursing mamas, all you have to do is roll over and pop out the boob. I couldn't imagine having to get up out of bed every time. But Sollie was an all night nurser until he weaned at 2. I think they want it cause they can smell it. This can be exhausting.
Yay for the family bed! Silas sleeps in our bed with us and so far we all really love it. Steve doesn't wake up at all for night feeds. I do actually pick Silas up and we nurse in the living room on the couch...we were having some latch issues and both of us needed to be awake to make sure that we got it right. But, we're starting to experiment with nursing while lying down. I have to say even though I'm up 2-3 times a night, I still feel very rested. I think it's because the night nursings are so peaceful and there's no crying (his or mine!) because I can get to him when he first starts stirring. We plan to keep him in our bed as long as it works for all of us...I think we'll try to transition him out when he starts walking. That's the plan, but we're flexible about accomodating his needs, whatever those might be.
ReplyDeletewe never co slept both my monkeys went from bassinet to crib to bed- but as soon as they were in beds they (STILL) come to cuddle in our bed every morning.
ReplyDeleteI feel the exact same way! All four of us are sharing a bed at the moment. It has it's moments, but for the most part, I absolutely LOVE it! It's been great for us.
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