I have been struggling a lot these past few weeks trying to figure out my son and his changing mind. As he has shifted from the end of his 2's into his 3's, his emotions have started to go haywire and it is throwing me for a loop. I am not exactly what anyone would describe as "incredibly patient" and so dealing with a screaming, whining toddler is not my forte. But I have always managed with some sort of semblance of peace and order. Until now.
Finn has started to only want his daddy. I thought it was just a little phase, but a month later it is still going strong. This is the sort of wanting daddy where he sees me, and starts crying because I am not him. He tells me (a lot) that he doesn't love me and only loves his daddy. I know that coming from a just-3-year-old this shouldn't mean much, but trust me.... if you hear this over and over again for weeks, you start to believe it may have some truth.
So lately, anything for us is a struggle. If we are out and about and having fun, things are great. But as soon as we are home and following any sort of routine (meal time, snack time, nap time, etc.), everything turns into a huge traumatic event. Finn only wants his daddy and will scream and whine incessantly until he is either distracted or falls asleep. And that whole process just takes it out of me. Literally, I go from having a great day and being motivated and inspired to feeling run-down, exhausted and not motivated to do anything. Tuesday and Wednesday this week I thought I was getting the flu, but after feeling fine on Thursday, I am pretty sure that Finn just ran me into the ground emotionally.
So, I am thinking that this isn't a phase and that there is something going on with Finn. Could it be me being pregnant? I would expect misbehavior and strong emotions AFTER the baby is born, but not yet. He has been working a lot on writing letters and numbers and I wonder if this is a phase before he reaches a milestone (those of you with older children may remember the emotional stresses that came shortly before your child began to walk or talk)? Is there something else going on that I am not figuring out? Is this just how my child will be for the rest of our lives?
It has been really hard for me because this new (crazy) behavior makes me feel like I have done something wrong or I am just not good at parenting. What happened to my sweet sweet boy? When will he be back?
He will be back. I think it's probably the pregnancy and the struggle with learning new things. Whenever he is over here, he cries for you. I know that doesn't really help because he always cries for daddy when he is with you, but watching him, it's very clear to me that he loves you dearly! And being a mama is the hardest job in the world, and you do it with grace and ease!
ReplyDeleteI have a daddy's boy. I can't remember when it started, but there was a phase around 3 when Zack would actually push me away. It hurt my feelings terribly. I wanted my baby to like me best, after all I am the mama! It has gotten a lot better over time. I think Finn is just going through some normal stuff. He loves you. Trust me.
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